Sunday Scriblings #269 -FLOCK-

Animals follow in suite one after another

Having a leader but at the same time all equal

A flock does what is best for the group

The leader at that time staying rational

With us, the number of followers

Often fuels a leader with a power hungry addiction

Propelling them forward in bizarre directions

Both dangerous and devious

Much more preferable to see a flock of geese

Fertilizing as they walk through a yard

Than a flock of soldiers

Pillaging and bringing death

Mindlessly following the orders

Of the dictator who happened to be

King of the mountain for the day

Sunda Scriblings #88 -- Competition

Talk about a perfect topic for me. I am so competitive about everything. I want to drink the most, I want to have the most of whatever we could be talking about, I want to win at everything, I want to be considered the smartest (mind you I know I am not), I really want to be the strangest, because I would never win at being the most normal. Everything in my life is a competition. It brings an extra reason to strive to do a good job and be more productive than anyone around me, which is generally a good thing. It also makes me look like I am a total A-hole and full of myself much of the time, which is the bad side.

If I had to pick one thing to be the best at, it would be helping people. I want to be the one people can depend on. That sometimes entails a bit of everything I mentioned. To be asked for help, you need to be able to show others you can do it well on your own, and that your help will really be useful. In the mental illness sense, my field of expertise (nope, not really an expert) it's important to smile, be friendly, accept everything (again being liberal) and just being willing to drop what I am doing at any time to lend a hand or an ear. As a man, I always want to give advice, but I try not to.

Throughout my life I have tried to be good at soccer (failed), baseball (failed), tennis (failed), track or running (failed), swimming (did pretty good), writing poetry (well, I am not the best but I got to my milestone, being published), going to excess with electronics, alcohol, and other things like it's a game (when I want to win at this I can, just terrible consequences afterwards), boy scouts, youth group, grades, etc...and it goes on forever.

Although I now know that being the best is not important, and that in the end it's much more important to have a good time and be happy, I still push myself.

Sunday Scriblings 12/2/07 #87, Walk

Going for walks was fun, that is until it became a daily routine/chore/requirement for at least 3-5 miles Monday-Friday. At that point I was not enjoying it anymore. I got sick of it and had to stop paying attention. Some of my best poetry was created at that time because I had not a thought but the music pumping into my ears from my newly aquired MP3 player that I bought specifically for that purpose. In one pocket the music, and in the other the digital recorder to catch all the thoughts and ideas I found while walking and listening to music. This went on for over a year. And those poems just kept coming. But then I put my foot down. I had heard all the songs, not just ones I liked, but over 30 gigs of MP3's over and over again until my head ached. I decided to start sitting them out, or suggesting other activities. Now I don't walk. Maybe once in a while, with my wife around the block, but it's not what it once was. It doesn't clear my thoughts to be outside. END RAMBLING

Sunday Scriblings 11-25-06 Misspent Youth

Just to say what I first thought-A lyric from Beck that says something like "Misspent Youth, blamed it on my period." OK...

I feel like youth should be full of doing all the exciting things and having fun so that by college you can know what not to do. I went the other way around. I was picture perfect until I was 19, and then it all went to hell until I was 23. If only I could go back, but then my life would not be what it is, perfect for me. I hope you can get the point of the above statements without me spelling them out, because I refuse to do so. When one is young, a mind is so much more open to new ideas and concepts that are later filtered out before they are even explained. Being too old for change and set in your ways is a terrible thing. Youth should last for life, and in those few people that care about being intelligent enough to keep giving new ideas a chance, it is. Young at heart at least. Well, I will be back with more later perhaps.

sunday scriblings 11/18/07

I Carry...

I do keep lots of tangible things with me...my wife and I went to a little store in town that sold rocks and "mystical items" and we both got a little velvet bag full of stones that meant different things to compliment one another to stop arguments etc... That was about a year ago and it seems to have worked some. I also always have my pen and paper, my camera, MP3 player, books, cell phones, wallet, keys, etc...

As far as intagible things, I keep my imagination ready and mental images of the ones I love. I carry the weight of problems in my life on my shoulders and try to remember that for the most part, I got myself into them and I am the only one who can get myself out of them. I try to carry work at work and home at home without intermingling the two, although that can be problematic at times. I like to keep a positive attitude and laughter on hand to break any awkward moments with a little break from reality where I can make fun of myself. I find that to be the best type of humor. That way no one laughs at me, just with me. At least not to my face, which is better than nothing. Have a great Sunday.

sunday scriblings 11/11/07

Right, Left, and WRONG

I believe most of the world has the same opinion of America as I do. We are mostly (not all mind you) fat lazy losers who pollute everything and use up all the world's resources without giving anything back. People like Mr. Bush have made that even more clear. I don't think any country could have elected someone with less intelligence in history. Since Bush is a republican and they are right wingers, I think everything should be left. Americans like our stupid measurements like inches and feet and ounces and pounds and miles. That is all stupid and WRONG. The rest of the world operates on metric, and most intelligent Americans do as well, so we should kick our system and just adopt the correct one. The world drives on the left side of the road, but from the right side of the car, which makes absolutely no difference except I like left better, so I am all for that as well. I am an extremist left wing liberal in many senses, anything is better than what we have now. Most people realize that all the religious, cosmic, or supernatural endings to the world that people used to believe in will not happen because of how stupid people are. By the time an asteroid hits, aliens attack, or God comes back we will have killed ourselves from an excess of water that is all polluted with trash. Oil prices continue to rise and we continue to consume which is the rule of supply and demand. What ever happened to solar powered batteries that could store energy, using water and wind to create energy, anything but gas. I have a feeling that people driving Hummers don't think about that. I don't care how big your family is, you don't need an SUV or a MINI-VAN. People lived without them in the past, and we don't need them now! If enough people started to drive Hybrids then more mechanics would service them and it would be cheaper to maintain them. This topic has made me angry enough for now...

Sunday Scriblings 10/27 Hospital

That word does not leave me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside...okay got it.
Many of my friends have recently been to the hospital for the one good reason. Going into labor. Going in pain and getting fixed up for any reason is always good, but the pain part sucks. Being given the option to have a baby in the end is wonderful. I have never seen women with so little makeup and so much sweat be so beautiful and glowing. Then of course there are the babies. The maternity ward is such a happy place. Babies have been on my mind quite a bit lately as I am approaching 30 (still young but getting to the age where I really want a child!). As of late I seem to have a talent with making children smile and taking wonderful pictures of them, even when the parents have had no luck. I imagine going to a mall or photo studio that is just a back drop with lots of equipment can be traumatizing as a child. I just keep my camera on sports mode for rapid shutter action and stay patient. Also doing hundreds of shots ensures a few good ones. Anyways, back to topic.
If there is a good then there must be a bad. Usually I consider that the emergency room waiting area. One of the two huge hospitals here is bad about making one wait hours and hours to be seen. Seeing people screaming in pain, usually when my wife or family member is also in pain and sitting with me, is a bit much. They seem to never have enough space. I remember thinking, it's 2AM, how bad could it be? BAD!
Because Morphine drips and pain killers have gotten so good these days, I don't even think of the process of dying naturally at a hospital or being in some pain because of a car accident etc... is so bad. Then again, I have never had any surgery in my life. I have broken my leg and neck in an accident, but they fixed themselves with the help of some therapy, immobilizers, and rest after a hospital visit I recall about as good as the car accident itself.
There has to be a middle ground because this can't be just good and bad. That is the psychiatric ward. Some people are getting better and some are getting worse. Some will get out in a week, and others will be shipped away to a state mental facility where they might be forgotten for months or even years. Although my first visit to one was recently, I imagine it won't be my last in my line of work. People may come in with a multitude of symptoms and end up with various diagnoses, but while in the hospital they exhibit either a slight quiet depression, or mania. It's like I am surrounded by the two sides of Bi-Polar disorder on medication. That isn't so bad at all. Enough!

Sunday Scriblings 10/20

"My first act as Queen/ King of the World will be..."

The possibilities are endless, but I have so many acts and how in the hell do I decide which one is first? I think this is the first topic I have had to think about at all. Here goes nothing...

Welcome World to the never ending communist extremist dictatorship of ClockWorkChris. Many things have already been done in preparation for me to take over such as the execution of thousands of world leaders who have been determined to have IQ's lower than 25 and have made very bad decisions that have doomed the Earth forever regardless of what we do. Although many things must be done to keep the world in going until it's demise, while everyone still grovels at my ridiculous reign, I believe the first decree I will issue shall be as follows...

Please put big bill boards, radio signals, bombs to simulate fireworks, and everything you can think of into space welcoming any intelligent life in the universe to help us, because we are F***ed!

Sunday Scriblings #81 10/14 "First Job..."

Let's hear em! What was your first job, and what was your worst job, and any others you care to tell about. How about your dream job? Give us your "realistic" dream job, that which you are pursuing and hope to attain, and your total fantasy dream job, which may not even exist, but would be perfect for you.

My first Job was Wal-mart stocker, Follwed by K-mart casher/carts, FoodLion cashier/carts/deli/stocker/meat/office/etc..., while at school during Foodlion Cafeteria cleanup, J-Crew call in Center, Pie Works (pizza), Centerpoint, ARC, Hoperide, and PHP of NC.
The worst was by far Wal-mart. When they asked me to clean toilets I said goodbye.
My dream job as a child was to be a psychologist or psychiatrist when I was old enough to think of realistic ones, but as a young child it was CIA/FBI/or NINJA. Glad I did not pursue that.
Now I love my job as a CaseManager and I would not change anything about it. It's very rewarding.

Sunday Scriblings #79 9/30

Prompt:When in your life did you feel the most powerful? Was it childhood? College? Now? What is that feeling like; what does it mean? Do you have power over your own life, or are you not feeling that so much these days? If you don't want to get serious, you might imagine superhero powers, and what you would do with them.

If you have read here before you know I love to just write and devulge information about myself usually so I am not going with super powers. There were plenty of times I "felt" powerful and on top of the world. Usually I thought I could do just about anything and there were no consequences. I believe DiCaprio said "I'm the king of the world." That pretty much has it. Then when I woke up the next day feeling like crap and needing more *stuff* to stay that way I realized I was more out of control that ever before. Right now I feel in control quite a bit. I am married, I choose if I want to work or play, if I want to get paid or not, if I want to keep my car and house or lose it, and it is in some ways all up to me. My decisions override anyone else's when it comes to my life. As a child my parents and friends dictated my behavior. In college not much changed besides I was lying to everyone, but doing bad things didn't make me feel in control, but the opposite. Right now I am happy to wake up every morning, yes even Mondays, and do what I need to do because I enjoy it. Many people have said that if you are not burdoned by your job but enjoy it, then it really isn't work. That is how I feel. Keep in mind my job for the last five years was easier in many aspects than the one I started 2 weeks ago, but I am enjoying it. Until I have children I will be the boss of my own destiny, with my wife being an equal 50% influence. Lucky for me she is a Libra and I get to make all the decisions I want to make. That is it for this week.

Sunday Scriblings: Hi my name is...

Hi my name is Chris (yep you knew that). I go by clockworkchris because once I saw A Clockwork Orange and read the book, I just knew it was one of those things that were strange enough for me. I am a very strange person and I have lots of stories about my life that, although I am not as strange as the character Alex or his Droogs,I think that I am interesting. I started that pen name, if you will, back with an abreviation when I was 17 in high school and I have kept using it since. Easy for people to keep up with. My name "Chris" means Christ-like, which although I don't attend church or consider myself Christian, is kind of true. I don't mean that I am really like Christ or perfect at all. I mean that I care about others deeply, I would do almost anything for even a stranger, and I bend over backwards to make people smile and be pleased with me. However I consider this less Christ-like and more attention seeking. I was always the counselor in HS and worked for the local volunteer counseling line where people could call in and I would try to help them like a professional would. That got me into psychology and eventually into my job today. I just got promoted from field work to a case manager. I also feel like I have been through lots of situations that many of the clients I see have not been strong enough to overcome, and seeing someone who has gives them hope. I really am an oddball however. At my age, 28, not really old, but wearing jeans, t-shirts, and having big holes in my ears and tatoos is still not the norm. Staying on the computer as much as possible is, so I fit somewhere in the middle. I could write all day, and year about myself but I will just stop here. You ladies and gents seem to like my chunk of life bits so I hope this isn't just a repetition. :)

(Sorry about the terrible error-typo I had in this early on...I was speaking of the main character of A Clockwork Orange who is a serial thief, murderer, and rapist and gets conditioned through painful methods to be afraid of it all. Thanks for the comments that let me know!)

Sunday Scriblings #77 9/16

#77 - Collector Personality
Some people are collectors -- others are not. I would venture to say it is a personality type, that urge to gather together and own and organize particular things. It's fascinating what some collectors collect. Are you a collector? Of what, and to what lengths will you go? Do you know any quirky collectors? You might also imagine a rather difficult collection to maintain, or a particularly creepy or obscure one. Have fun!


I would venture to say that a collector personality is just an adaptation of an addictive personality. Some people like to drink or do drugs. Some people like to buy things. Sometimes these things are random and just about the addictive act of spending money. Other times it's specific things that don't necessarily serve a real purpose, except for collecting.

My wife and I collect stuffed animals made by Ty called Pluffies. They are not Beanie Babies although they often have beans in them. They are much bigger and very soft. About every animal that exists has multiples of them. We have well over fifty at about $5-7 dollars a pop and just bought one yesterday as a matter of fact. This type of collection is sentimental because it was one of the first things I bought her and I liked them as well.

I collect weapons such as swords, knifes, anything oriental in nature with a blade basically. I have lots of them. They are also worthless basically. I don't pay top dollar for folded steel samurai swords that can actually be used in combat. Although much of what I have is razor sharp, they are meant for display and I don't even do that. I just like swords and these are better than not having anything. If I had the money I am sure I would have some "real" ones.

I also collect movies and video games. Those have a tangible value. Sometimes I sell ones I am sick of to further the collection of ones that I like. I have had every video game system Nintendo has ever made except for Nintendo DS. I opted not to buy that because I have very little time outside of the house to play games, and I had a laptop so I saw no purpose in it. I am big on electronics, camera, and other gizmo's to make life easier or more memorable.

Since I used to have problems with addictions and I have been diagnosed with an addictive personality, I think I just moved my money spending from one place to another. The main problem at one point was that I wanted to feel good. Once my life got good on it's own (actually through much hard work) then I began to use my money to fill in the gap for the addiction.

This is my personal view, although many people share it with me. I don't think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. But once an addict to something, always an addict to something. It's just that the something changes often. Like I still love shot glasses, but I don't drink.

Quirky part-My father collected baseball cards until he was 60 grand in the hole. You would think that is a good investment if you know nothing about them. It isn't. Cards, along with most stamps, coins, comics, and most collectibles are useless except to other collectors. People that know the value also know that it's very hard to find others who want to pay the value so they rip you off. My basic rule is if I want to make money, invest in a mutual fund or something. The value of even a simple bond goes up faster than baseball cards.

I'm done.

Sunday Scribblings 9-8 "Writing"

When I think writing...

Well, I did go to college and the first thoughts are often of papers and other boring assignments that I don't want to do. Then I think about work and all the paperwork that is entailed in that. Up until last week that has been 60 hour work weeks with 20 additional unpaid hours of paperwork at home, leaving no time for me. Now last week, that was nice. 25 hours, and I will catch up on the paperwork soon. I did start a little. Right now writing makes me think of poetry and smiles and all the bloggers out there pouring their hearts out into that wonderful place we call the Internet. I think of the talent that people have and how there have to be more undiscovered artists, poets, playwrights, and other writers than there are bands and musicians in the whole world in just the blogs I have visited. So much talent from people that love to just share. It's really nice. People accepting critiques that are often a little too positive and need to be more real, but are there all the same. Most bloggers like to write. They don't visit to lurk and spy, but to leave comments. Sometimes in hopes you will comment back. I was very strict about responding to each person on my blog and visiting their blog if a comment was left but that began to control me, so now I just write. It's easier for me that way. I can't keep up with myself, much less everyone else.

Writing is my release. It's what I do when the stress of the world I live in has mounted up and I need to let it out in a creative way, instead of my previous ideas (punching trees until my hands bleed, martial arts, explosive tempers). Now I am one of the calmest people I know and I have an abundance of patience. Writing has changed my life and I think it's a great idea for anyone. You never know how much you have to say until you start saying it. Only then will it be clear. I am worn out and need to sleep now, but I will be sure to write more tomorrow, and everyday I can. To read my words is the fastest way to know me and my soul.

sunday scribblings 9-2 THE END

The topic this week is the end and check out the people over at Sunday Scribblings (linked on side bar on the left). They have put together a book inspired by some of the ideas used from their site. Great job.

Such a great topic and I don't really know what to say. The end makes me think of death. My wife thinks there is nothing and you just get buried, or something else she fails to explain. And I believe in something and an afterlife, but I hate organized religion because there are far too many hypocrites trying to buy there way into heaven and praying when they need something not understanding that although prayers are answered, the answer is not always yes.
The end also makes me think of reaching a goal. Something being finished. I am very competitive so the finish makes me think of winning. That brings up swimming. I used to be a competitive swimmer. Not good enough to beat anyone who was really serious, but plenty good enough to out swim the next guy who just knew the basics.
Back on the death end of things brings up weapons, which I collect. (NOT GUNS) I love swords and things that are beautiful when used in Kata's and other techniques that required lots of discipline and training.

I can't really think of anything to write about still...Those signs and people that thought "the end is near" and the world would end in Y2K made me laugh a lot. So stupid, although I agree that before we are all killed off by aliens, the second coming of God, pollution, or a disaster like volcano's, ice caps melting, etc...that we will create AI and it will eventually exterminate us. The matrix had such a great plot. Anyway...this has been pointless brainstorming by Chris. If I think of something that really is worth reading I will come back and write more, but don't count on it.

#73 - Dear Diary

Last weeks never got read by anyone-that is your guilt trip, here is this weeks...on time for once.

Dear Diary,

I woke up today feeling like sometimes I don't do enough. Plenty for myself. But more for my job, my wife, the community, learning about the world, visiting places, just being a better citizen and person over all.

I am really happy I have started to write poetry again now that I have a little (this is the key word) more time to do so. It may only be a few days out of fifteen but that is better than nothing.

There are lots of things I am and will always be ashamed of that I keep bringing up and can't let die like my drug problems. It's one thing to laugh about yourself and something else entirely to enjoy telling stories for the sake of shock value. I look like such an innocent and people just can't believe them. Telling the truth is so much more effective and terrible than lying for me, and I love it. I wish I could keep my mouth shut some of the time. (except when blogging because you can always stop reading :)

I wish I had experimented and had my bad behavior before college so that I would have learned when my parents still had a big influence on me and I would have gotten over that stage of my life earlier. If I had to choose good grades in HS or college, I obviously would have picked college. Although they were above average, they were not good because I was much too stoned to care.

I really wish I had more friends who cared about me. I know everyone is busy. I am too. However I invited close to 100 friends to my wedding and about 10 came. Half from here and half traveled short distances. Two of the ones who were most important could not come and that hurt. When I want to talk to someone I always have to do the calling. It has been that way forever unless someone wants something. It would have been nice to be invited to social gatherings and be a little more popular early on and not so awkward, although I doubt I would be who I am if I had any of that.

I got an email this morning that really brought me down, which being manic, does not happen often. It was like a critique of how I seem to just not give a crap about anything and I do. It reminded me of all the times people used to say I sounded angry on the phone. It took years for me to perfect a phone voice that didn't sound that way. I am so full of sarcasm that sometimes one can read my voice better than my expressions, but those are bad too.

I am, in the end, very pleased with how things turned out over all. My family is great. My wife and cats are great. When I have a child someday I am sure that will be great. The friends are the only thing I stress over. I have from the beginning, and always will find it awesome that blogging came about because without it I would have no contact with the outside world beyond work.

#72 Goosebumps

What gives you goosebumps? Do you like scary stuff? What else gives you goosebumps?

I think most people fall into a natural or super-natural mode when a topic like this is mentioned. I am not afraid of ghosts or goblins, nor do I find scary movies regardless of the tension or gore scary. I actually enjoy all of that stuff, and I love going to haunted houses. I guess this answers the second question. I love stuff that people would traditionally think of as scary. I find it funny instead. If you can manage to scare one of the people placed to scare you, you have done a good job and it will be a story for years to tell. Once as a child I went to a haunted house (I was about 12 so don't get all politically correct on me) and I went into a room with the group where a large spider oversaw the room and said it could answer any question. I was chosen randomly to ask the question. This was a person, not some lame device. I asked "Does you mother know how gay you are?" Being a yes or no question, both implying homosexuality, the spider didn't answer and we all laughed. I was a kid so this was not okay, but I would never do that now just in case people are wondering. I have lots of homosexual friends and I am totally cool with it. Anyways, that's an example of enjoying things that are supposed to be scary.

Now with the first and third parts. I was (to make up my own word) insect-a-phobic, but then I had a pet lizard and fed him crickets until I got over that. I am not really likely to get goosebumps unless it's literally a chill from cold weather. Now on the other hand, I don't like watching real violence. I would not say it gives me goose bumps or grosses me out, but it does put my adrenaline into overdrive and I get the traditional fight or flight response. I am not big on flight. I am more likely to call the cops, get involved where I don't need to, and make an idiot of myself. When I think back on many of those experiences I do get goosebumps so I guess that sums it up. Had fun with this one.

Sunday Scriblings 8/4/07: Decisions with haiku at the end

I've made the decision not to use this topic. Okay, Just kidding. This is too easy to miss out on and maybe when I am done writing I can come up with a few haiku.

A decision is just another word for a choice. You always have a decision or choice to make about everything and the consequences that follow are always yours alone. Some examples:

1. You can choose to play golf in a storm; you may get struck by lightning. The lightning is not your fault, but by putting yourself into that situation with your decision, if you get hurt the blame falls on you.

2. You can choose to get involved with a drug addict or alcoholic partner that is abusive. In the end you will be hurt. Sometimes they will steal, sometimes they beat you up, sometimes they are just terrible partners, and worst of all terrible parents. This blame obviously does not fall on you alone, but walking away would have been the best choice, often with a restraining order. (I am a counselor and work with people like this so I feel okay saying this. I realize lots of people will disagree and that is okay.)

3. You can decide as a child that you want to throw a lighter into a fire and see what happens. You might singe your eyebrows or hair by being too close, or much worse have serious burns or start a big fire. I have done this too. As a kid the responsibility falls on your parents to teach you, but once they have you need to listen and not be hard headed. I only learn by doing it and once again this example is me.

Enough with examples. Now to the fun part.
The best and worst decisions I have made in my life involve drugs and relationships. I will always believe regardless of what people say that any street or presciption drug one takes that is not prescribed is a gateway drug to more. I've been there, and done them all, and I am not proud of it, but it was my decision to continue. I was never coerced or forced to do anything, I made a choice and I accept the consequences. Now that I have been clean for a long time I am more effective at my job because I understand where addicts are coming from. When one thinks about it, everyone is addicted to something. From spending money, Internet, video games, writing, smoking, drinking, drugs, sex, clothes, or food, people always have a vice. Overcoming that is one decision that is close to impossible and likely the hardest decision one will ever have to make, but it will always help create a better life in the end.

The best decision I have made is getting married, and before that dating enough people that I understood that little arguments and spouts were part of being involved with people. If the first sweetheart you have from high school ends up your partner, then you have to learn all that in marriage. I consider myself lucky that I had enough bad decisions to learn the hard way (the only way I really learn) that life is not supposed to be perfect. If it was, everything would be great ( and boring). You have to have bad to enjoy the good. I had what, at the time I thought, my heart broken probably twenty times by bad decisions and I am sure I hurt some other people as well. Life is a learning process if nothing else. I think the reason the divorce rate is so high is because people don't really know the other person well enough to commit for life. Temptation is nothing more than another decision and you just have to say no. Past experience should have taught you that. If not you are bound to make the mistakes everyone else makes first that has a healthy marriage. Granted some people get it right on the first try, but not many.

Alright, enough for now. Here are my haiku

Decisions haunt me
Choices made without thinking
What will happen next

Consequences wait
Prayer will not fix one's problems
Answers within grasp

The past tries to teach
If only we will let it
So not to repeat

sunday scriblings #70 - Phenomenon

Well I feel that Starbucks is one of the craziest phenomena ever. They are kind of like McDonald's in that no matter where you go it tastes the same. The difference is that Starbucks actually purposefully burns it's coffee beans slightly because that is something than can do exactly the same each time. The difference in the size, weather variations, where the beans are grown, climate, hell basically anything can be covered up by doing this. I guarantee you can't even make instant coffee ten times and have it taste as similar as Starbucks coffee would taste at ten locations if you ordered the same thing. Like Wal-mart they are driving the little coffee shops out of business.

Here in Winston-Salem where I live (which is about the 5th largest city in NC, but that is not saying a whole lot compared to states that actually have big cities), we have three Wal-marts and more than six Starbucks and they just keep coming. Starbucks already had the coffee shops inside of Barnes and Nobles book stores and now their brand has also taken over Borders book stores with "Seattle's Best," which is owned by Starbucks and even has the SB initials. Even the idea of someplace that wants you to order the most complicated drink like a "half decaf white mocha latte with an extra shot of espresso and a dash of whole milk with whip cream on top" instead of just coffee makes me laugh.

Don't get me wrong. I love their coffee but I prefer to support the local business whenever possible. I just spend a lot of time in Borders playing chess. It's also quirky to me how people are complaining about gas prices when oil is actually expensive and coffee costs nothing, yet a gallon of gas is (here) $2.73 to $2.87 for regular and a gallon of coffee would be out of this world. What I order in a large (which is not really that big) is a little over $5. That is just too much to pay for coffee. I found it was cheaper to go buy an espresso maker and make my own, which taste very close to what I was buying, and I only have to buy milk (which also costs more than gas per gallon). On that tangent just like to point out that all of Europe has been paying higher costs for gas at our highest place in the nation for the last ten years and they don't bitch about it, they just find alternate ways to get around and don't buy idiotic vehicles like hummers. Enough!

Sunday Scribblings 7-22 "Wicked"

The first thing that comes to mind are the wicked stepsisters in Cinderella or the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. Ten years ago I used the word as a compliment to say "that was wicked" meaning it was cool. Last night I was watching Last Comic Standing and one of the comics who I knew for sure would get the prize for audience favorite named Dante was talking about how his daughter had been watching the same movie over and over since December and it was the Wizard of Oz. He had made up his own version of it with Jack Nicholson as Dorthy, Christopher Lloyd as the Scarecrow, Gilbert Godfrey as the Tin man, and Robert De Niro as the Wizard. It was so da** funny! I had to watch it again after I confirmed that he won. If you have time I am going to find a link on YouTube. Well it wasn't there but I found a clip on NBC.
http://www.nbc.com/last_comic_standing
click on video and find semi finals #1 (7/18)

TRUST ME IT IS WORTH IT-THIS GUY CAN REALLY DO IMPRESSIONS

Well that had nothing to do with wicked but that's okay, I was just scribbling.

About Hair

I have lots to say about hair, but it's really a scribble. No nice stories or poems. Just reality. Hair for men is exactly comparable to weight for women. On a recent radio pole here in NC we even discovered many women here want men to shave in all the same places they shave. Interesting thought... I am losing my hair. I did not think about what would happen when I used relaxer countless times in sixth and seventh grade to straighten my hair and now I know. It stopped growing. I have also bleached and colored my hair every color in the rainbow and I can't think that has helped matters any. I don't have the typical male pattern baldness. It's much worse. The hair on the top of my head actually grows at a rate of about 1/2" per year. It is so annoying. In addition I have the bald spot and a receding hair line. I think people that have "skullets" (no hair on top and only hair on the sides) or comb overs look stupid. This is obviously just my opinion but bald seems to be in so when the time comes I will be a Mr. Clean. In college and several other times when I have gotten angry and decided to shave my head it has been a catastrophe growing it back, but it never looked bad. In fact I got many compliments.
Now the worse part. Body hair as I mentioned earlier. My father's side of the family calls it the Sapp curse, Sapp being my last name. Obviously only for men, another reason why when I have a child I pray it will be a girl. We are talking arms, shoulders, chest, back...everywhere. I HATE IT! If I could get a tenth of that transplanted to my head I would be set for life but I have no million or even thousand dollars to start or finish that process. I don't even have enough money to get it laser-ed off. It's too bad for all of you that Hair was the topic this week because I just needed to vent. Normally this is private, but the chances of me meeting any of you in person are so Minuit that I figured what the hell.

Women whenever you are wondering why men lose weight so much easier, think about how you can grow and style and be happy with your hair for years. I will never have that luxury. I have never had hair that was much longer than it is now, even as a child. It's been maybe 2 inches max, although I had a 9-inch rat tail back when those were cool in maybe 2nd grade.

I really hope in the future evolution just gets rid of all body hair so future generations will not have to deal with this crap.