Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
What a 180
Well, other than feeling a little bit of a cold-flu whatever, I am doing so much better this week. I don't think it would be fair to say that starting to write again did it all but I am sure it had something to do with it. My cat is getting better. The last few days have been really great and I had a fun weekend. I am looking forward to NewYears where Anne, I, and a group of her friends are getting together (crazy real people to hang out with) and doing a New Years thing. I get to be the Designated Driver but I don't drink anyways. I am excited and it sounds like this year is actually going to be a good one. Thirty is on the way in March on Friday the 13th for me, so keep your fingers crossed. My computer crashed a few weeks ago and I lost everything not saved to external drives so I am going to get my poems from work that I had saved and put some of them up. Hope everyone has a great Holiday!
Balboa's Kidney Stones (multiple)
Today we went to the vet again. The bill was almost $200 and my male cat has lots of kidney stones and has been put on a new expensive diet (about 4x normal price) all because we put him on some nice expensive food with protein about three to four weeks ago that was supossed to be all natural and good for him. Screw local pet stores who think they are vets and just try to sell you expensive stuff. I bought into that whole idea and it turns out almost 30% of male cats have frequent urinary tract infections and that cheap ol' purina indoor formula was just fine but now I get to pay for shots and pills and x-rays and watch my cat suffer and wobble around. I would rather I just had another kidney stone. Seeing him like that makes me hurt.
When I look at the title of this blog it makes me laugh and I not going to get morbid or anything but I feel like I can be myself again like I used to do years ago without worry about what they might say, because it doesn't matter what they say-they don't have my permission to read it-you do. I still welcome the comments. My stupid therapist said I was not allowed to keep blogging but I am not emailing all of you when I have something to say and the therapy I am trying so far is not working. I invited you because I trust you, your opinions, and consider you friends. Please let me know if you are uninterested because I actually have a limit of 100 readers max by making this such a private affair and I want to keep that damn stalker out of my blogs.
When I look at the title of this blog it makes me laugh and I not going to get morbid or anything but I feel like I can be myself again like I used to do years ago without worry about what they might say, because it doesn't matter what they say-they don't have my permission to read it-you do. I still welcome the comments. My stupid therapist said I was not allowed to keep blogging but I am not emailing all of you when I have something to say and the therapy I am trying so far is not working. I invited you because I trust you, your opinions, and consider you friends. Please let me know if you are uninterested because I actually have a limit of 100 readers max by making this such a private affair and I want to keep that damn stalker out of my blogs.
Balboa-my cat-a real life-blog-poem
The baby is whining
He never shuts up
I hope this catnip
Will do the trick
Just wait what
Six weeks for
Some sign of growth
Then kill the plant
So he can eat it
And get a little relief
For an hour or two
Will I ever be able to deal with children
When this cat
Can drive me so mad
I would gladly throw him
If it would make any difference
I know it won’t
So I just listen to that
Over and over noise
MEOW MEOW
MEOW
While my head says
SHUT UP SHUT UP
SHUT UP
Like a congo drum
The beat goes on
Through the night
Into the morn
Rescue me
From this repetition
Of what is by no means
A smart animal
Basically just a dumb human
With fur
That walks on all fours
And wants food
And attention
Is a baby
God
Help us all
If I am ever a dad
I pray for the strength
To have new views
And first
To learn to deal
With the cats
Coma
The HBO documentary on Coma’s was very effective at making sure I have a living will, but that’s about it. How terrible…
Mother is there
Everyday
All day
Quits her job
Has to believe
Father is frustrated
Reducing the therapy
That seems backwards
Have you given up
Bastard Doctors
During the Brothers
One documented visit
A tear rolls down
The patient’s face
Seeming so purposefull
Like someone is inside
Trying so hard
And succeeding in producing
One saline drip
Signifying life
Before the verdict
After an MRI
Vegetable for life
Mom is back at work
So much pain
This is one of the four stories that they covered over a year. One man completely lost all hearing in his ear and the part of his brain that controls the ability to translate hearing so one has to write. One man died. The female is like a pre-teen but she can walk and talk after a few years. Such misery. Today there was no music I wanted to uplift me. Just share how I found out that Comas are no joke.
Mother is there
Everyday
All day
Quits her job
Has to believe
Father is frustrated
Reducing the therapy
That seems backwards
Have you given up
Bastard Doctors
During the Brothers
One documented visit
A tear rolls down
The patient’s face
Seeming so purposefull
Like someone is inside
Trying so hard
And succeeding in producing
One saline drip
Signifying life
Before the verdict
After an MRI
Vegetable for life
Mom is back at work
So much pain
This is one of the four stories that they covered over a year. One man completely lost all hearing in his ear and the part of his brain that controls the ability to translate hearing so one has to write. One man died. The female is like a pre-teen but she can walk and talk after a few years. Such misery. Today there was no music I wanted to uplift me. Just share how I found out that Comas are no joke.
Sunday Scriblings #77 9/16
#77 - Collector Personality
Some people are collectors -- others are not. I would venture to say it is a personality type, that urge to gather together and own and organize particular things. It's fascinating what some collectors collect. Are you a collector? Of what, and to what lengths will you go? Do you know any quirky collectors? You might also imagine a rather difficult collection to maintain, or a particularly creepy or obscure one. Have fun!
I would venture to say that a collector personality is just an adaptation of an addictive personality. Some people like to drink or do drugs. Some people like to buy things. Sometimes these things are random and just about the addictive act of spending money. Other times it's specific things that don't necessarily serve a real purpose, except for collecting.
My wife and I collect stuffed animals made by Ty called Pluffies. They are not Beanie Babies although they often have beans in them. They are much bigger and very soft. About every animal that exists has multiples of them. We have well over fifty at about $5-7 dollars a pop and just bought one yesterday as a matter of fact. This type of collection is sentimental because it was one of the first things I bought her and I liked them as well.
I collect weapons such as swords, knifes, anything oriental in nature with a blade basically. I have lots of them. They are also worthless basically. I don't pay top dollar for folded steel samurai swords that can actually be used in combat. Although much of what I have is razor sharp, they are meant for display and I don't even do that. I just like swords and these are better than not having anything. If I had the money I am sure I would have some "real" ones.
I also collect movies and video games. Those have a tangible value. Sometimes I sell ones I am sick of to further the collection of ones that I like. I have had every video game system Nintendo has ever made except for Nintendo DS. I opted not to buy that because I have very little time outside of the house to play games, and I had a laptop so I saw no purpose in it. I am big on electronics, camera, and other gizmo's to make life easier or more memorable.
Since I used to have problems with addictions and I have been diagnosed with an addictive personality, I think I just moved my money spending from one place to another. The main problem at one point was that I wanted to feel good. Once my life got good on it's own (actually through much hard work) then I began to use my money to fill in the gap for the addiction.
This is my personal view, although many people share it with me. I don't think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. But once an addict to something, always an addict to something. It's just that the something changes often. Like I still love shot glasses, but I don't drink.
Quirky part-My father collected baseball cards until he was 60 grand in the hole. You would think that is a good investment if you know nothing about them. It isn't. Cards, along with most stamps, coins, comics, and most collectibles are useless except to other collectors. People that know the value also know that it's very hard to find others who want to pay the value so they rip you off. My basic rule is if I want to make money, invest in a mutual fund or something. The value of even a simple bond goes up faster than baseball cards.
I'm done.
Some people are collectors -- others are not. I would venture to say it is a personality type, that urge to gather together and own and organize particular things. It's fascinating what some collectors collect. Are you a collector? Of what, and to what lengths will you go? Do you know any quirky collectors? You might also imagine a rather difficult collection to maintain, or a particularly creepy or obscure one. Have fun!
I would venture to say that a collector personality is just an adaptation of an addictive personality. Some people like to drink or do drugs. Some people like to buy things. Sometimes these things are random and just about the addictive act of spending money. Other times it's specific things that don't necessarily serve a real purpose, except for collecting.
My wife and I collect stuffed animals made by Ty called Pluffies. They are not Beanie Babies although they often have beans in them. They are much bigger and very soft. About every animal that exists has multiples of them. We have well over fifty at about $5-7 dollars a pop and just bought one yesterday as a matter of fact. This type of collection is sentimental because it was one of the first things I bought her and I liked them as well.
I collect weapons such as swords, knifes, anything oriental in nature with a blade basically. I have lots of them. They are also worthless basically. I don't pay top dollar for folded steel samurai swords that can actually be used in combat. Although much of what I have is razor sharp, they are meant for display and I don't even do that. I just like swords and these are better than not having anything. If I had the money I am sure I would have some "real" ones.
I also collect movies and video games. Those have a tangible value. Sometimes I sell ones I am sick of to further the collection of ones that I like. I have had every video game system Nintendo has ever made except for Nintendo DS. I opted not to buy that because I have very little time outside of the house to play games, and I had a laptop so I saw no purpose in it. I am big on electronics, camera, and other gizmo's to make life easier or more memorable.
Since I used to have problems with addictions and I have been diagnosed with an addictive personality, I think I just moved my money spending from one place to another. The main problem at one point was that I wanted to feel good. Once my life got good on it's own (actually through much hard work) then I began to use my money to fill in the gap for the addiction.
This is my personal view, although many people share it with me. I don't think once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. But once an addict to something, always an addict to something. It's just that the something changes often. Like I still love shot glasses, but I don't drink.
Quirky part-My father collected baseball cards until he was 60 grand in the hole. You would think that is a good investment if you know nothing about them. It isn't. Cards, along with most stamps, coins, comics, and most collectibles are useless except to other collectors. People that know the value also know that it's very hard to find others who want to pay the value so they rip you off. My basic rule is if I want to make money, invest in a mutual fund or something. The value of even a simple bond goes up faster than baseball cards.
I'm done.
3WW 9-12
I used the original racket
The one my father gave me
All those years ago
When we tried to play tennis
While Skipping stones across the lake
It was good for hitting more than just balls
Rocks bounced off it effortlessly
And I watched the parade of stones
Reaching father as I used more force
Smiling remembering the past
The one my father gave me
All those years ago
When we tried to play tennis
While Skipping stones across the lake
It was good for hitting more than just balls
Rocks bounced off it effortlessly
And I watched the parade of stones
Reaching father as I used more force
Smiling remembering the past
I was late this week
I was late so I just wanted to inform everyone I did date all my entries to the appropriate days but on Friday around 4:30 I posted Wordless Wednesday, 3WW, Poetry Thursday, Friday Feast, Saturday Special, Sunday Scriblings and anything else I usually do. Please be patient. It's the job.
One Deep Breath week 60: Comfort
I am no comfort
To anyone in the world
When I am pissed off
Don't expect comfort
You will be disappointed
Just take what you get
My prayers go to you
I also lost my father
All words are useless
To anyone in the world
When I am pissed off
Don't expect comfort
You will be disappointed
Just take what you get
My prayers go to you
I also lost my father
All words are useless
Sunday Scriblings #62
#62 - The Town Mouse & the Country Mouse
Okay, okay. How about just: town & country.
Are you a city person or a country person or both or neither? Feelings about town and country?
I believe I would fall in the middle on this one. I have no accent-northern or southern according to people I meet from both places, although I am sure I would sound like an American in other countries with all the slang I use. Maybe a little bit of both, Yet mostly neither. I hate big cities, although I have lived in a suburb of a small city (Winston-Salem, NC) my whole life. If you don't know where that is then think RJ Reynolds Tobacco started here. Then again I have never really been to any farms except on field trips in elementary school, and most of this area is full of commercialism. We have 3 Wal-marts in town, 2 malls (one of which was the biggest on this coast for a while), 2 k-marts, 2 targets, and hundreds of drug stores, grocery stores, and other things with a decent sized down town area. There are lots of mountains and state parks within an hour or less in almost every direction and Greensboro is very close (which is much bigger). I prefer a little bit more quiet than I often get, but I think it's just the apartment and in a week or two when I get moved into my new house all of that will end. I hate traffic yet I also hate slow speed limits. I love cows but would hate it if I had to wait for anything to cross the street because my life is pretty much lived as if I was always in a hurry. I enjoy getting up really early and going to bed early which I believe is more country, and I hate clubs and bars which I think is more city. I could not live without Internet, but we don't have hot-spots for wi-fi everywhere yet. All in all I just like to think of myself as Chris. Not country, not city, just a friendly guy who goes with the flow. If I have someone I love with me nothing else is very important.
I believe many people see country as a farmer with overalls, straw in the mouth, making due with what they have, and bluegrass music. I believe many people see city as wearing suits, having a 9-5 type business job with an apartment, going out to eat, riding in taxi's, and more luxuries in life. I strongly disagree with any generalization, and also with using categories or any other way to form an opinion about a group. That leads to prejudice. I am a blogger, I can safely say that with no reprocussions because anyone can be a blogger. I am just a person who wants to enjoy life as much as possible and stay happy and if that lends itself to one group or the other and someone wants to put me in it, it doesn't bother me.
I'm Sad
I wish these pale white fingers
Could find the right combination
Of letters on the keyboard
To express the fear I now have
The outer layer of perfection
Was shed today like a snakeskin
At exactly eighteen hundred hours
Yes, it could have been worse
But that does not make it better
And it does not make it go away
I'm lost in an endless sea of drama
Trying to find the magical words
Looking for a cure for what ails her
To yet again fix something
That can't be undone
Can't be fixed
Can't be
Without being specific this is about how it feels right now. I don't know if I will quit writing for now, or just start writing insane amounts of everything. A dream hangs in the balance and there are no answers, just questions. Why?
Could find the right combination
Of letters on the keyboard
To express the fear I now have
The outer layer of perfection
Was shed today like a snakeskin
At exactly eighteen hundred hours
Yes, it could have been worse
But that does not make it better
And it does not make it go away
I'm lost in an endless sea of drama
Trying to find the magical words
Looking for a cure for what ails her
To yet again fix something
That can't be undone
Can't be fixed
Can't be
Without being specific this is about how it feels right now. I don't know if I will quit writing for now, or just start writing insane amounts of everything. A dream hangs in the balance and there are no answers, just questions. Why?
PT 4-19
I did the assignment as always, but please read a poem if you will. Comments on them are far more important than recognition of this task. I perform this on a regular basis...
I handed out business cards for my website, left books of my published poetry (yes the one's I try to sell) in Random locations like the YMCA, a car repair shop, and a bookstore. I also printed out 100 poems, 20 of 5 separate ones I have written and gave them to friends and strangers or left them to be found in bathrooms. I do this often because I feel poetry has been replaced by song lyrics in today's world and no one cares about the beauty of it without a musical score behind it. Lyrics can be terrible with the right guitar or drum beats and will be worshipped. Some things I will never understand... This has been, and continues to open my eyes to how the world has changed so much because of the new focus on rock music.
Now you are done reading my non-sense-get on to the fun. The 3 part poem with the picture about 4 posts down is excellent if I do say so myself, but I prefer you just pick one at Random. If you are in a hurry and can't read a poem then remember that any comment gets you put on my links list.
I handed out business cards for my website, left books of my published poetry (yes the one's I try to sell) in Random locations like the YMCA, a car repair shop, and a bookstore. I also printed out 100 poems, 20 of 5 separate ones I have written and gave them to friends and strangers or left them to be found in bathrooms. I do this often because I feel poetry has been replaced by song lyrics in today's world and no one cares about the beauty of it without a musical score behind it. Lyrics can be terrible with the right guitar or drum beats and will be worshipped. Some things I will never understand... This has been, and continues to open my eyes to how the world has changed so much because of the new focus on rock music.
Now you are done reading my non-sense-get on to the fun. The 3 part poem with the picture about 4 posts down is excellent if I do say so myself, but I prefer you just pick one at Random. If you are in a hurry and can't read a poem then remember that any comment gets you put on my links list.
Don't be bored!
Don't be bored
Help me get read of those that were ignored
Click on the label with that name (or hidden treasures)
To make the number less a shame
This is really lame
I don't want to sign my name
And lucky for me it's time for this week's chess game
Wishing I had fortune and fame
But tomorrow will be the same
Help me get read of those that were ignored
Click on the label with that name (or hidden treasures)
To make the number less a shame
This is really lame
I don't want to sign my name
And lucky for me it's time for this week's chess game
Wishing I had fortune and fame
But tomorrow will be the same
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