As he spent years
Searching to come down
For a down side
To this roller-coaster
Far above anyone Else's normal
The lack of safety becomes more clear
The anger building up
The lack of a clear definition
Is guilt knowing you did something wrong
Or caring that you did something wrong
The disappointment
Of not meeting expectations
The stress
Of being completely overwhelmed
That only then
When an episode has reached it's peak
No release has been allowed
That a tear comes
And he fights it
Damning the moment
If he is to cry
It shall not be because of this self-pity
The downward spiral begins
But he is still soaring
On the roller-coaster
And the tear is vapor
Before it leaves his cheek


gel said...

I'm not sure if you're describing bipolar depression, but that's what I feel as I read this despite being lucky enough not to battle this life-changing/challenging roller coaster.

Hugs to you,

Clockworkchris said...

Mania as in one end of the spectrum-but not the depressive and slowed down end. The other end.

gel said...

yes, I realize that. (Manic-depressive). I just wasn't sure if I was on target. Thx for clarifying what I should have.