The calm

As my eyes peer into the box
Above the mantel with the gas logs
I never use
I see a familiar movie
That I have to watch
Remembering the number of times
It has brought me down
To that place where I can feel again
And as intently as I focused
Making sure to catch even more detail
Than each time before
I almost got there
Right to the point of no return
The calm before the storm of tears
But like I was strangled
I tensed and choked
Nothing
Just the happy ending
And rolling credits I could care less about

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