Tears Shed

Yesterday I cried
It has been three years
They seemed like an eternity
And every time I wanted
To break down and let it all out
I just got so close I could feel
My gut wrenching
It went away
Time and time again
Anger decided to take the place
Finally this time that did not happen
The tears started
And for an hour
Although I was not happy
I was at the same time relieved
That the down pour of salt water
Was cleansing me
Of many of my angst’s
Piled up
Over the never ending length
More than one thousand days
Twenty four thousand hours
Of not a single tears
And only a few in the two years
Before that
Why this internal decision
That crying was not aloud
Had been made
Was unbenounced to me
Just that I could not do it
No matter how I tried
And so now the question remains
Will I keep it up
This refreshment of cool water
On my cheeks
Or be in for many more dry winters
Of emotionless pain
With a straight face
And blank eyes