3rd person view
The angel burst forth
Out of the ocean
Causing tidal waves
And stirring the violent winds
About her body
Wings brilliantly lit
Casting down a shadow
That covered the sea
From the sun overhead
Only she could not escape
The grip held by the ribbons
Looking so innocent at first
But actually binding her forever
To an eternity of short breaths
From the watery depths of solitude
She had been cursed to endure
For loving a human
Over her God
2nd person view
You have disgraced me angel
Loving a false idol
Such as a human
More than me
For this you are banned
For an eternity
To wage war against the sea
Slowly sinking
If you do not fight
With all that you are
To stay above water
And catch a glimpse
Of the glory of heaven
You left behind
1st person view
I only wanted a glimpse
Of what it was like
This life on earth
We are teased with
But never get to be part of
As angels
Yes I took a man
But I never held them higher
Than you my Lord
Why must you punish me
With these chains of silk
Looking so easy to escape
But being made by you, perfect
And unbreakable
How long must I suffer
Before you release me
Let me fly back to your glory
And lavish you with my obedience
Kisses, Prayers, and Love
23 comments:
This is my favorite - I don't even need to explain why.
Yeah-I did good this time and even I can see it.
Did good? This is great Chris, you should be very pleased with these poems. The three of them together flow and keep the suspense building all the way to the end.
Such emotion and pain in these poems.
Bravo, bravo.
I totally agree w/Brian. They are all three terrific but I still love "The Angel" best!
Hi sweetie. Thanks for visiting. My archives are in the right sidebar about halfway down "My Old Storms". Hope you can find them but if not, let me know.
I hope life is treating you well and marriage is all you hoped it would be. It will take many turns, my friend.
Peace.................
Brian-really appreciate the support. This is one of the first times I have been really proud of something I wrote at random.
Anne-yes, this one is likely the best because it just came to me with no planning.
Helen-Thanks-Your pictures are so unique I just wanted to look at them again. Marriage is a blast so far.
All three views! Some many layers of truths, desires and illustrates for points of view with such great words!
Love it~ There and Love it here~
TJ
Thanks TJ: I don't think I could have chosen just one view on this project. It needed to be shown from all sides to be fair. Angels have a tough life.
Chris - the three work beautifully together, you pulled it off! There truly were three views.
Third person view (the first one), for me, could easily stand alone, it is a magnificent poem. . . but then since it is told by an observer, it needs to be the most awe inspiring, I think. The awesome artwork comes across as if it were created for your poem rather than the poem for it!
Marcia-that has to be the most flattering compliment of all. The picture created for my poem. Wow! If I could draw/paint/create somehow art like that, I don't know how much writing I would be doing. It would be hard to choose which I wanted to pursue. I am trying hard to take the 3rd person view on most of my work now just because using the word "I" makes things difficult and like it's really about me. The word "you" doesn't always apply to who is reading it. Thanks so much for stoping by to read.
This is fantastic!! All stand alone but the three views really set this off like viewing a 3-D movie.
Thanks Pat!
I really appreciate that. Viewing a 3-D movie. That happens to be something I really enjoy. It was impossible to stop after I had started to write the first one.
All she could say was WOW! I was moved and felt that you brought me beauty and intrigue today.
thank you...
(poetry is my 2nd blog - beginner, but I linked it anyway)
Wow Chris - that was AWESOME!
I really liked the ribbons as chains idea - fabulous.
this:
"I only wanted a glimpse
Of what it was like
This life on earth
We are teased with
But never get to be part of..."
is a unique idea - I hadn't thought about life from the point of an angel before.
Thanks! For a quick write (10 min maybe), this has to be the best response I have had to any poetry accompanied by a picture.
Marie-Glad I made your day! I am flattered.
Strauss-the ribbons as chains was a good idea. I for once am taking credit for a poem because anyone can see anything they want in that picture. Thanks for stopping in.
Pauline-The assigment was to look at different points of view so I thought why not. I must admit I have seen many movies (The series of The Prophesy) where Angels are speaking of a war they have with God over humans. The idea of Angels being angry is something I think of often.
I know - I've already commented twice = but I love this poem so much that I don't want to let go of it.
wow this is beautiful. multiple perspectives rendered fluidly- moving word-pictures on page. the illustration is breathtaking as well. taken together, the piece is as vivid as a movie. i love it.
The picture and the multiple viewpoints interlace to form a compelling whole. Taking away any of the viewpoints would leave us robbed of the greater understanding that comes from glimpsing the outside view and the mind of accuser and accused. The taste of wistful longing and unconditional love that this leaves on the tongue is precious.
fantastic...much has been written on the waters and much has been given to their depths but only seldom does a piece such as yours capture the infinite...
i loved the three voices...and i love how it starts with apparent detachment to end in softer penance..this is wonderful chris. There was the prophet wave in it, there was too the shore deeply implicit.
to me the value of a poem lies in the way it makes the reader go off on a tangent ...and as you can see I am under the effect!
my best
shakir
This is a great piece. i very much enjoyed the three different voices compiled to make one poem, and they all seem to flow excellently with the others.
That was actucally quite an intriguing way to show that scene, to show it first from the uninvolved outside bare facts viewpoint, then each of the other poems moved closer and closer to the subject till we were right inside of the angels feelings.
Love how you pulled that off.
I liked the second poem the most. It felt so intense and emotional, and unrelenting.
I love this one the best too!!!!
Okay...
Anne-you will always love this one the most
Rax-"as vivid as a movie," now that is one hell of a compliment. I love movies! Thanks so much!
Fox-I think your comment is weaved better than my words. My you really comment clearly and I just don't know what to say but thanks and that I will be adding you and visiting soon. Unfortunetly I have no idea about your profile or page...email me a link so I can add you.
CrimsonFlaw-Wow, really appreciate the kind words. I never thought of how important this poem was but I guess it was far much more influential that I imagined. I will be sure to look at this as my example of good work.
K.M. Ryan-Thanks, I was trying to just make three poems but it ended up being a great piece together.
Sara-I am not looking back to see which was second but I really appreciate your continued support. I think all beings have feelings and I beleive in angels so this was easy.
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