Deserved

Trying to find the reason
That I stayed
So many times
Without the possibility of a smile
Giving the benefit of the doubt
While I was pulled down
Into a dark muddy existence
Losing fingernails
Trying to crawl out
The repetition
And similarity
Between each relationship
Was sickening to the stomach
Yet I stayed
Thinking I deserved
To have more
Than only loneliness
Before dying
I realized the truth
The only one I needed was me