He waited hand and foot
While she kept barking orders
Telling him how to stand
Even when to breathe
Her voice slowly began to falter
From all the talking
Until finally
It was non-existent
But instead of running
Trying to escape
From the clutches
Of her infinite grasp
He let her continue
To hold him in
Giving her easy questions
So she could rest her voice
And nod her head
Hoping someday
She would look into his eyes
Realize how he'd chosen
To stay by her side
And regardless of how
He had been treated
That he had decided
To follow his dream
And stand by her forever
8 comments:
Chris – I feel for you man! I remember those days when I was where you are right now. It takes a ton of strength and some faith. Hang in there. This is a great poem. Very sad, but beautiful. Thanks for stopping by with your kind words.
Interesting poem! I love the way I accidentally (inadvertently?) read:
"Even when to breathe
Her voice slowly began to falter
From all the talking
Until finally
It was non-existent"
as "Until finally
he was non-existent"
it was sort of the way the whole poem went for me: the two passing their roles back and forth to each other...nice work!
Thanks you two-interesting how I actually did poetry Thursday and got like 50 visitors today but only two comments on the poem I left a link too-I think that says something. I appreciate what you had to contribute.
I second 'poet with a day job' comments, I had a similar response, too.
I enjoy no breaks in my poetry so much that it is hard to arbitrarily put them in to make it more clear who is speaking but you two got it so maybe it isn't so bad. Thanks Kevin.
I feel like I've been there too - the possibly undeserved loyalty at nearly any cost. Well said.
Sometimes I just make stuff up and this poem is an example of that-I love writing and this really did not happen. I took doing a little bit extra for the Misses last week and made up tons of BS that sounded nice in a poem. You must be able to lie to be a good writer. Thanks spider, I have been in a place where I was giving undeserved loyalty-but it was no where near this pretty.
I love the idea that he put up with mistreatment in order to remain true to himself. That's an interesting perspective.
Thank you very much for your comment on Twinkle. I was this close to ending my participation, but because of what you said, I think I'll stick it out a while longer.
Post a Comment